kid's friend's parents are crazy people

[fiksal]

EDIT: corrected title for clarity


Hey there,

Not sure this is a question or just a post out of frustration.

Recently it's been a pattern that when we are at a playground with our kid, we attract Russian speaking immigrants to us. That'd be all quite fine and useful for our kid, the issue is that it takes 10 min before I learn I am talking to a:
- supporter of the war
- global world order conspiracy practitioner
- dooms day prophet of end of oil or end of conservative "values" to the point of calling for an armed rebellion


in my past life, I would never return to talk to these people. But the kid wants to play with their kids.

We definitely need to find alternative parents and kids. Soon we'll go to primary school, I am putting all bets on those parents and hoping to leave these in the dust.

Have you run into this? How did you go about it?

[Falcrack]

You'll be much more able to help them see the light by being their friends than by shunning them. Or even if you aren't about to convince them to your point of view, the world is a better place when people with opposing viewpoints can be friendly and civil to each other. Perhaps they find your viewpoint offensive and wrong, but if they are willing to be friends despite the difference, then why not be friends?

[Alan Phipps]

The fact that these 'immigrants' are there with you and not in their homeland means that they are possibly more aligned to your nation's values than your post would indicate. At least now they are being exposed to free press and verifiable news access, plus they are talking to people such as yourself. Also, please consider that they may [still] be being cautious about what they admit to strangers and about who else might be listening from their local community.

[fiksal]

You'll be much more able to help them see the light by being their friends than by shunning them. Or even if you aren't about to convince them to your point of view, the world is a better place when people with opposing viewpoints can be friendly and civil to each other. Perhaps they find your viewpoint offensive and wrong, but if they are willing to be friends despite the difference, then why not be friends?

That crossed my mind, but I found that it's too tiring for me. All they do is want to argue their point, make fun of everyone else, share bigoted, racist, offensive and explicit humor with us, all while we watch kids on a playground. And that's all the want to talk and share with me, I almost feel it's special for me, as I feel less Russian than I used to be.

I find it now easier for me to ignore them. I dont want to argue about evils of lgbt when I am enjoying a nice weather and watching the kid run around.

The fact that these 'immigrants' are there with you and not in their homeland means that they are possibly more aligned to your nation's values than your post would indicate. At least now they are being exposed to free press and verifiable news access, plus they are talking to people such as yourself. Also, please consider that they may [still] be being cautious about what they admit to strangers and about who else might be listening from their local community.

There's a contradiction that I've noticed but I cant explain. Russian speaking Immigrats often speak quite negatively of the current country, and quite favorably of where they came from. A few others even mentioned to me how life in Russia right now is more (literally) free and "traditional", "moral" than here in the collective West, how they'd like to go back. But they do not of course.

So, how much are they aligned to the nation's values is a question I cant answer.

(Mind of course, criticising a regime / country is fine, but I'd hope the goal would be to improve the situation not to disolve it. Which isnt the point in this thread at all)


But I see your point. If this is a work in progress for them, I am not sure I have the energy to stick around. And that of course is on me then as well.

[mr.WHO]

There is no surefire way, otherwise humanity would solve parenting long ago.

As you mention, if you overdo you not only tire yourself, but might achive opposite effect.


I'd say the minimum effort, maximum effect approach would be:
- try to show you kid a value of non-conformism, skepticism, having your own opinion (in the same way, you can show the bad ways of collectivism, heard mentality and basic manipulation - I mean something dumb like TikTok challenges is quite frequent reason why kids get hurt and such manipulatory challenges were present long before internet).
- try not to push your own values directly, there will be a phase where kids will try to do opposite to spite/rebel, instead try with soft guidance and let the kid to figure it on his own - there will be mistakes.
- hope for the best

We definitely need to find alternative parents and kids. Soon we'll go to primary school, I am putting all bets on those parents and hoping to leave these in the dust.

That is probably the best single thing you can do. Your child collegues and their parents will be the biggest factor that will influence in bad or good way.

[fiksal]

@mr Who

yep, noted. Hopefully we can breeze though the harder years all together

That is probably the best single thing you can do. Your child collegues and their parents will be the biggest factor that will influence in bad or good way.

So it is, will await the start of the year



To correct the post perhaps, the kid's friend is a good kid, he is 3.5 yr old